Finding and Keeping your Perfect Mate

Tips for Finding and Keeping your Perfect Mate

From the beginning of time man has sought to be in a relationship.  Since then we have drastically deviated from the initial plan God put in place to bring a man and a woman together. We list all types of excuses for why our differences are irreconcilable, however the blueprint of life (The Bible) says “What God has put together let no man put asunder” and if we follow this we will find our perfect mate.

 I remember a joke my pastor use to tell explaining how women came about. He used to say “When God created Adam he put him to sleep and removed one of his rib bones and placed it in the being he was creating now known as women. When Adam woke up God asked what he wanted to name the being.  Adam took one look and said “Whoa-man,” and thus we have women.   Although this story is merely a joke in nature the hidden message behind it that women are astonishing is priceless.

One of the most popular questions for those who are either seeking a mate or in a committed relationship is- “How do I know if he/she is the one.” The answer to this age old question is simple- “What can’t you live without.”

I often tell people that you should have (5) five standards that are absolute deal breakers. In other words if the person you’re trying to get to know/or are with doesn’t possess ALL FIVE of your standards it’s time to turn and walk away. And if you don’t have five established and non-wavering standards then you don’t need to date until they’re established. By now you’re probably saying “It’s too late I’m already in a relationship.” In all honesty if you’re not with your soul mate it really doesn’t matter because eventually it will end. You just have to decide how much time you’re willing to waste with the wrong person.

The age old saying “If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything” is totally true. Think about it if you don’t know what you want you will end up with a lot of what you don’t need. For instance have you ever gone to the grocery store while you were hungry? You walk in with a budget and a standard list of the things you need but by the time you leave you have a cart full of things you didn’t want not to mention the additional money spent.  I’ve developed seven tips to help you eliminate wasteful dating.

1.       Always utilize your five standards- this will save you a lot of undue heartbreak. For example if one of your standards is that your mate must have a degree dismissing this standard will definitely cause problems in the long run. The reason why is because this standard was created when you were thinking without the clouding of anticipation. Anticipation is created when you meet someone new.  You look at the physical attraction and hope that this one is the one, especially when you’re more than ready to settle down. Don’t be a victim of the desperation syndrome and by all means don’t settle!!!

2.       It’s okay to allow someone to get themselves together before you embark upon a relationship with them. The reason why is because you need to allow time to show you if this person is simply going through a rough patch in life or if they have no desire to obtain the things you expect. In most cases the answer is their standards won’t meet your expectations. For example if you meet someone and they’re not working. The logical solution is to walk away. The reason being is that a person who is focusing on bettering themselves is not ready to date. If a person is not happy with themselves they can’t possibly make you happy. Each situation is different however the outcome is almost always the same.

3.       Make sure your religious or spiritual beliefs line up. Two can’t walk together unless they agree. This simply means if you have two totally religious different beliefs chances are it won’t work. Think about it this way- If you are a firm Christian and you meet an avid atheist, chances are you may try to make it work initially but eventually things will change drastically. The reason being is because someone (most time this is you) decided to put their beliefs aside to try to make it work. This will never work because you are who you are for a reason and it is very difficult to change for someone else without resenting them in the process.

4.       Be sure you have what it takes to enter a relationship. If you have been known to be a cheater and all of a sudden you have a desire to be in a committed relationship- figure out why you were cheating before you use some un-expecting soul as a science project. It’s the same as carrying excess baggage into a new relationship. My advice is speak with those who know you best and ask why they think you are the way you are. Most times family and friends can identify why you think the way you do. Then talk to a professional and figure out how to break these bad habits so you can be happy.

5.       Never take on a fixer up project!!! If you feel the need to embark upon a fixer up project save yourself a lot of time and heartache by simply going to Home Depot instead. You cannot change anyone!!! Change is something that is self-contained. If the person hasn’t determined that they need a change, chances are they won’t change for you. Instead you will change and most times not for the best. This type of thinking only hurts the person seeking to change the other person.

6.       Listen to what your mate is saying. If your man is saying “Baby I want to marry you” but his actions are not reflective of this- he’s not going to marry you. When a man is thinking long term he prepares for the future. He begins to explore what type of ring you want, the type of house that works best for your family, and my all-time favorite the exploration of your credit. A person who wants to be with you forever cares about you and what you have to offer.

7.       See things for what they really are. If your mate continues to stand you up, is unavailable after 9 p.m., breaks up with you around the holidays (Christmas, Birthday, Valentine’s Day, etc.) he /she already has someone and is just riding your train until the wheels fall off. You can make up all the excuses in the world but the fact still remains- “When a man loves a woman he can’t keep his mind on nothing else” PERIOD!!!

I’m no expert but in my experience these key tips can help eliminate the bad seeds. I hope this helps and if you have additional questions please feel free to send me an email at justicebahleetalks@gmail.com.

HAPPY DATING AND HAPPY MATING!!!

Rasheeda:Talks LHHA, Relationships and her Feud with K. Michelle

"I’m getting geared up for more music and more things.”

 

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is no doubt a hit. From the drama surrounding Stevie J, his longtime girlfriend and daughter’s mother Mimi Faust, and his permanent side chick—Joseline Hernandez to the fuming madness between the “Boss Chick” Rasheeda and R&B singer K. Michelle. While watching the first season I felt compelled to see how things turned out.  Every episode seemed to end with a cliff hanger constraining viewers and assuring they would tune in the following week.

 

Now that season one is over and the taping for season two is well underway I sought out to talk to Rasheeda and find out what she’s been doing since LHHA, and what viewers can expect next season…

 

I spoke with rapper and business woman, Rasheeda as she was on her way to tape LHHA. As we chatted she was open and very straightforward about her views and opinions.

 

On What Rasheeda has been working on since LHHA

“Oh my gosh a lot. My website imbossy.com is doing extremely well. I’ve been building that and expanding that. I’ve added apparel and other things. And I’m looking for a location for that. I’ve been all around the United States promoting the album “Boss Chick Music,” I’m just promoting and doing shows and just really holding it down. It’s been an amazing year. And already I’m back taping. I’m getting a lot of songs played on TV like “Nashville and Bad Girls Club.” And now I’m getting geared up for more music and more things.”

 

On the positives learned from the Drama and tension on the show

“I don’t know about positive, positive. But there are a few things I want people to know, just because you see a few minutes of a person on television doesn’t mean that’s who they are.  But some of the positive things, it was good to be able to see myself and my husband go through our issues on television. To actually watch it kind of helped in a sense. It’s been crazy… But it’s been a great experience though.”

"You just have to understand that those things don’t bother me."

 

On the rumors and allegations surrounding her and husband/manager Kirk Frost

“I think when it comes to dealing with stuff like that when you know who you are, where you come from, and what you’re made of… You just have to understand that those things don’t bother me. One thing we understood is that you have to take the bitter with the sweet. And people are going to say things about you that a lot of times that are so untrue and one the thing about the press is they’ll pull out all of the negative stuff they can pull out. But let you be out here really doing some positive stuff and you’ll never know it because they could care less about the positive things. I just look at it look honey these people don’t even know me, they don’t know us.”

 

I assured her that I am absolutely not interested in exploiting anyone. I never have been and I NEVER will be. True journalism and interviewing is about the interviewee feeling comfortable enough to speak freely without worrying about people misconstruing their words or selling their private details. People feel that they can talk to me, like they can trust me, and they can.

"You can have some of the people fooled some of the time, but you can’t fool all the people all the time."

 

On her least favorite cast mate

“I don’t even have to answer that do I? The girl with the big ole fake butt.”

 

On the letter she wrote about K. Michelle’s behavior

“I was at one of those points where I was like okay by the time I get off of another plane, if I hear another interview come out of this dumb girl’s mouth- I want to break her neck. That’s how I was feeling but at the end of the day I really was like fed up. You can have some of the people fooled some of the time, but you can’t fool all the people all the time. To be honest your character card is ratchet as hell and you better watch your step. I look at it like a person who continues to throw stones… Why are you throwing them? Why are you so angry? Why are you mad? I’ve never done anything to you and I have my opinion. So at the end of the day I just say some people come into your life for a reason and boy I’ll be glad when that’s over.”

 

On if she thinks K. Michelle’s needs therapy or is it all for attention

“I think she has some issues from her past. Mentally and totally-- past, present, and future. She does everything for attention. A person that just wakes up and tweets about you out the blue… I am not thinking about your a*s let alone tweet or talk about you like that. The only time I talk about her is when she’s mentioned and sometimes I’ll do interviews and I won’t even talk about it. I definitely know it’s for attention because if you pay attention to season one all she did was talk about people, start sh*t with people, and talk about that story. Other than that she didn’t have anything else going on. So everything was for attention.”

"I’m not a hundred percent sure but from what I see and from knowing him… I can’t see that."

 

On if she thinks Memphitz abused K. Michelle in any way

"Let me say this… I’m not a hundred percent sure but from what I see and from knowing him… I can’t see that. And more than likely she’s lying.

On if there is any chance for reconciliation between her and K. Michelle

“No.”

On the possibility of a sit down for a truce between her and K. Michelle

“She’s not mentally capable of having a logical conversation with a woman like me, so no.”

 

"I think she’s just jealous of me and my crazy, beautiful, successful friends who all have men in their lives."

 

On if her loyalty and friendship with Toya is keeping the feud going

“Of course, and I think it’s even deeper than that. I think she’s just jealous of me and my crazy, beautiful, successful friends who all have men in their lives. And even me being married. If you really pay attention the things that she’s says about me and other people are actually the problems she has within herself.”

On what viewers can look forward to next season

“You’ll be able to see more real relationship issues that I think a lot of people in the world have gone through or are going through. You’ll get to know me a little more… definitely a little more. You’ll get to step into my music lane and my Boss lane. Other than that I can’t give you too much more… You’ll have to just watch and see what happens…

 

On what fans can expect from Rasheeda in the future

“Well I’m working on a new album… “Also be on the lookout for my new single from the “Boss Chick Music” album called “Hit it from the back.” It’s going to be very cool, very ghetto. And check out my website “imbossy.com”

 

On what she wants her legacy to be

“What I want my legacy to be is… When I turn on her music or when I see her on television that’s the woman who made me feel empowered. She made me feel good, confident, driven, and motivated. A woman who wasn’t scared to stand on her own two feet, say what she wanted to say, or feel how she wanted to feel. And at the same time say to other women, the sky is the limit. Do you, be classy, and be respectful.”

 

Rasheeda and I ended the conversation with her answering questions many inquired about and leaving nothing unsaid. I enjoyed talking to Rasheeda, her outspoken demeanor and jovial personality made my job easier. For more information on the “Boss Chick” herself you can follow her on twitter @rasheeda or imbossy.com. I officially stamp Rasheeda a part of the Just Talk family.

Chris Brown Enjoying his Time in Beautiful Hawaii

"Don't worry, Be happy"

 

Chris Brown is having the time of his life while celebrating Rihanna's Birthday in Hawaii. He looks soo happy and I think he is simply adorable when he's smiling. 

 

I don't know maybe I'm way too simple but I believe in allowing people to make their own mistakes and love whomever they choose. I guess the rumors about them in splitsville isn't true.

 

Anyway I'm happy if he's happy!!! Oh and I love the shoes Breezy... Must be a DMV thang!!!

 



Kanye Upset About Jay-Z and JT's New Friendship

Kanye West is getting sick of industry politics among other things... And I don't think he's too happy about Justin Timberlake hanging out with his bff-- Jay-Z. In a concert last night Kanye shared his thoughts while free styling. He usually does a freestyle during his concerts but this time it was a little different. As he aired his grievances no person or topic was off limits-- From business people (“I hate business people”), to the Grammys and corporations that refuse to sponsor his shows. Check out what he had to say below:

On the Grammys and Justin Timberlake's new track, ‘Suit and Tie’ featuring Jay-Z:

Remind me again why Grammys can suck my d-ck

 Remind me again who was the original super fly and I got love for HOV but I ain’t f-cking with that ‘Suit & Tie’

Other random moments:

Remind me again why we in this sh-t?

 Since when was making music about getting rich

 Since when was making art about getting rich

 Remind me why we arguing about f-cking somebody else’s b-tch?

Real n-ggas don’t live too long in this sh-t

 I can give a f-ck about everything, remind me why we in this sh-t, I lost my muthaf-ckin mom, so I can give a f-ck about your comments

We all gon’ die one day but I’mma live my life my way

The end gets a little weird when he starts mocking himself pleading to corporations. ("Corporations can you please support me. Please. I swear I’m a nice n-gga now.")

See The Video Below:

 

Lil Wayne Sends a Blast Out on Twitter

"I'mma Start a Riot, I'mma I'mma Start a Riot"

Lil Wayne sends a twitter blast. As we all know Wayne had a little trouble at the Miami Heat game last week, which ultimately ended in him leaving the game. After the incident he took to twitter... In a public performance he blasted NBA player Chris Bosh by saying that he "F*cked" his wife, and now he's sending a little twitter hate.

"Kiss my a$$ if u hatin, I'm gettin a$$ or I'm sk8'n...b!+€#"

I really want to be a fan of these new age rapper's but every time I try to give them a second chance they do some bamma ish!!! I really don't think it was necessary for him to say he slept with Bosh's wife. If his beef was with Chris he should have went to him like a man. But these dumb chicks continue to sleep with him and he continues to treat them like hoes!!! The only one who learned her lesson and moved on was Toya... I hope that her and Memphis make it and that K. Michelle's accusations don't turn into the six o'clock news...

I continue to say REAL men don't talk about what they do in bed, they be about what they do in bed.

Wayne's recent single "I ain't got no worries," apparently isn't his current theme music. Chill out Wayne and relax... If you're bored with rapping the same words to a different track, try counting your dollars... You've got MILLIONS!!!

Megan Good Talks About Her Relationship Scrutiny with Devon Franklin

Super actress Mega Good was taking a break from filming her new NBC drama series, Deception, when she was spotted chilling and shopping with her husband Devon Franklin at The Grove in West Hollywood. Last week, the couple sat down with Toure Roberts of the One Church International and shared some of the scrutiny they’ve faced in their relationship. According to Good the two has faced harsh judgement due to the public’s misconception of her from the characters she's played.
While discussing the public’s reaction to their engagement, Devon revealed:

The moment that the news broke, it was on TMZ. It was interesting because the moment that it broke, when you look at what they wrote, their whole thing was trying to show a contrast. Meagan Good engaged to an Adventist preacher. Now mind you, my day job — I’m a studio executive and Sony pays my bills. They called her a ‘Californication’ actress; the subtext was “Is this for real? This won’t last.” That first announcement went viral. I got people from everywhere Facebook, Twitter, texting me, emailing me, some were supportive but others were like what is going on?
See what happens is, good or bad, someone sees a public person and they don’t know you, they only know about you. Based upon what they know about you, they make a judgment on what is good for you, but they don’t know you. This whole idea of he’s a preacher and she’s this, it blew my mind how many people had an opinion when God is the only one who directs our story, so he knows where our story is going to go. The danger is when we live for religion or when we live for other people’s opinion we begin to let them develop our story when they have no idea where the story is going.
So there were some people who were trying to give me notes on my story that she didn’t belong in my script. Based on their perception of what they thought my story was supposed to be about, they didn’t see how she fit or how I fit in her script. But I’m saying wait a minute, when was the last time that you went before God before you gave me this note. Before you posted that comment, did you pray and say Lord is this what you want me to say.
I’m following God and I’m not going to worry about what you think it looks like or not because I know what he’s told me to do. So there were people I literally just had to say, “I don’t want to hear it. Shut it down, I’m not listening to your foolishness.” When God gives you a vision, a lot of people would see the persona of Meagan, but I would see Meagan because God revealed and showed me who she was. So when I see who she really is, and I see her, I see me and I’m like that’s me. So anybody that would come against it based on perception it would just be like you don’t know and you don’t get it and its okay but over time, you’ll watch our movie, and you will see how it all makes sense.

Meagan Good also added:

I’m so passionate about what was said to me. “You are not a real Christian, you are not this, and you are not that.” I love God so much, I love him with everything [Starts crying.] To have people tell you that, to all the misfits, underdogs, and the people who are looked down upon, my heart goes out to them and people who are judged on their appearance, and what they’ve been through. It breaks my heart.
I realize that God has put me in the position to tell those people I look just like you. It doesn’t matter if you are in King Magazine, at the end of the day, God has promises for you too, and God loves you too. There is nobody in this room that’s any better than you.
People think that I just got saved when I met DeVon or the year before but I’ve been saved since I was 12. I’ve been loving the lord since I was a little girl. The woman that God already made me, flaws and all, is the woman that Devon fell in love with, not the woman that I became after I met him.

I hope we all can learn a lesson from Megan's story about not letting people choose for you. Everything is not always as it seems. And sometimes people just need to mind their own business, especially SO CALLED CHURCH FOLK!!! You know the ones that are praying on Sunday, cussing on Monday, and going straight to HELL by Tuesday!!!

 

Mona Scott-Young has a Surprise Birthday Party with Family and Friends

Mona Scott-Young and Love and Hip Hop NY's Yandy Smith

 

 

 

Mona Scott-Young and Love and Hip Hop Atlanta's K. Michelle

Mona Scott-Young, hubby Shawn Young, and a Christian Louboutin Inspired Cake!!!

 Guests included Hot 97 program director Ebro Darden, BET’s Rhonda Cowan, Yandy Smith (“Love & Hip Hop”), K.Michelle (“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta”), K. Foxx (Hot 97 personality), Ariane Davis (“Love & Hip Hop Atlanta”), Jamie Foster Brown (Sister 2 Sister), Kim Osorio (The Source), Dr. Jeff Gardere, Misa Hylton, Jacquie Lee, Sidra Smith, Jas Fly and many more.

 

Rihanna Shows Off her Body While on Vacation

"I Roll Up, I Roll Up, I Roll Up, I Roll Up, I Roll Up"

 

Yesterday was the pop star’s birthday, Rihanna turned 25 years old! She's wearing this mini yellow bikini as she relaxes... with a blunt in her hand!!! Oh did I forget to mention she's doing this in beautiful Hawaii. Celebrating with her best friend Melissa Forde as they enjoy the sunny island. makes you wonder where's Breezy??? Maybe it's Karrueche's turn this week...

Melissa Forde bff of Rihanna tweeted the above message and hopefully she will instagram some more of these sexy photos of RiRi in a bikini as they celebrate her birthday.

 In Hawaii after their trip to London for Fashion Week. Will Chris Brown arrive soon???

Rihanna the Queen of everything??? Has Beyonce seen this, obviously NOT!!!

A poolside photo as Rihanna shows off her sexy Body….

"We havin a Celebration Love to Stay High"



Clive Davis Admits He's Bisexual in New Book "Soundtrack of my Life"

Record executive Clive Davis has openly admitted that he is bisexual in his new book, The Soundtrack of my Life. The book is set to be released this week. In the last few pages of the book he shares about his sexuality.

Rolling Stone reports:

Davis, who has been married and divorced twice, has never before publicly addressed his sexuality. In a candid five-page section toward the end of the book, due in stores today, he writes that he first had a sexual encounter with a man during “the era of Studio 54.” “On this night, after imbibing enough alcohol, I was open to responding to his sexual overtures,” writes Davis, who says he had only been with women before. Being with a man, he writes, provided “welcome relief.”
After a period of “soul searching and self-analysis,” Davis separated from his second wife in 1985, and says that he went on to have simultaneous relationships with two women and a man. In 1990, he entered into a “monogamous relationship” with a male doctor, who is not named in the book. Although that relationship ended in 2004, Davis says he has been in a subsequent relationship with another man ever since.

Davis' professional accomplishments include Kelly Clarkson, Alicia Keys, Arista and J Records, and most certainly the late Whitney Houston. He dedicated an entire chapter to Whitney Houston where he also shares aletter he wrote her after her tribute to Micheal Jackson in 2001. The book is available at Amazon.

Rihanna: Launces New Fashion Line at London's Fashion Week

As always Rihanna is on to her next big project and this time it's fashion. This week she debuted her ‘Rihanna for River Island‘ line at London Fashion Week. Most pieces were reportedly a replica of her own style. She's also being compared to Princess Diana by “The Sunday Times.”

Rihanna smashed London Fashion Week with many critics commenting on her new line, Rihanna of River Island. The line review from Reuters was:

“Denim tops teamed with slouchy jeans and monochrome dresses with thigh-high slits mirrored the Barbados-born singer’s dressed-down but raunchy style.”

 

The Huffington Post said:

“the clothes weren’t really “fashionable” and were a little too heavy on the nineties vibe.”

 

After the show Rihanna realized she was also being compared to Princess Diana and was on the cover of ‘The Sunday Times.’

 

Prince Michael Jackson Joins Showbiz

Michael Jackson's son, Prince Michael, is now working for 'ET.'

(Photo: CBS Television Distribution)

 

 

Prince Michael Jackson, 16, announced he is working as a special correspondent for Entertainment Tonight.
"I've been raised around stuff like this so it was different being the interviewer instead of the one being interviewed," he said in a release announcing the new gig.

ET's Brooke Anderson worked with Jackson on his first interview as he chatted with James Franco, Zach Braff and director Sam Raimi about their new movie, Oz the Great and Powerful.

Jackson says he wants a career in the entertainment industry beyond ET. "I'm looking to become well-rounded as a producer, director, screenwriter and actor," he told Anderson. When she remarked that he seems much wiser and older than 16, Prince Michael replied, "That's what most of my people say. That was all thanks to my dad. He raised me right."

Jackson said he hopes his next interview will be "Peter Jackson, because I love his movies. Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, and King Kong. I just love the way he shoots (and how) he brings things and depicts it back to life. I used to study his movies with my dad, put the volume off and just watch it, just the shots to see how he put it together."

During Jackson's interview with the stars, he got advice about show biz. Said Franco, "I always tell people, just go out and try, and stop waiting around or dreaming it's going to happen. Just go and start doing things on your own."

Congratulations Prince Michael! It sure is good to see a young celebrity doing something positive, especially Michael Jackson's kids... I wasn't really sure what was going to happen after all they had gone through in their young lives. I definitely wish them all well. Now if we can just get Bobbi Kristina before it's too late!!!

Beyonce Opens Up and Tells All

"Finally a Glimpse at the Real Beyonce"

After years of waiting, Beyonce fans finally get a chance to see who they have fallen head over heels for. HBO aired the Special giving all a look see at the private life of Beyonce. Singer, actress, mother, wife, daughter and business woman who does it all. Read below to see pictures and some of the Special's key moments.

How Beyonce felt emotionally about firing her father:

I’m feeling very empty because of my relationship w/ my dad and I’m so fragile at this point…and i feel like my soul has been tarnished. Life is unpredictable but I feel like I had to move on. And I don’t care if I sell one record. It’s bigger than a record. It’s bigger than my career.

What caused her to fire her father:

At some point, you need your support system and you need your family. When you’re tryna have an everyday conversation with your family….I needed boundaries and I think my dad needed boundaries. It’s really easy to get confused w/ this world, with your job and you don’t know when to turn it off. You need a break. I needed a break.

Not being too afraid to show vulnerability:

[I had to] Stop pretending I have it all together. If I’m scared, I’m scared. I think I need to go listen to ‘make love to me’ and make love to my husband.

What was her reaction when she found out that she was pregnant with Blue Ivy:

Wow? Really, this is crazy. We’ll see what happens in the next chapter of my life because I have so much going on. Being pregnant was very much like falling in love. You are so open, you are so overjoy(ed). There’s no words that can express having a baby growing inside. But you just want to tell everyone. So I had to hide, something that was the best thing in my life.

The importance of sisterhood and there nothing like being a woman:

It’s difficult being a woman, it’s so much pressure. We need that support. I grew up in a house w/ my mother, who was a hair stylist. Women would come in that salon w/ problems..We all have the same insecurities. I have been around the world, I love my husband, but it’s nothing like having a conversation w/ a woman. I need my sisters.